It was another rainy day in Amsterdam, just on my way to the airport, leaving again for another work trip. Tired and stressed. It was freaking NEW YORK, but still I wasn’t excited.
On paper, my life and career just looked like the dream. I got exactly what I wanted, at least that’s what I thought at that time: Working for a brand I loved, being paid to travel, eating at fancy restaurants, every year stepping into a new role at work, promotion after promotion, and still: feeling undervalued and overworked.
I knew something wasn’t right. When did I start caring about money or the hours I worked anyways? And when was I bothered leaving home to travel? All those questions, no answers, and on top of that those stupid stomach cramps (a story for another day). I felt like I hadn’t slept in four years. I mean, technically sleep or self-care wasn’t really my priority.
I loved this lifestyle, this industry, the creativity, the passion, but somehow the list of things I didn’t love started becoming longer and longer. I used to be so excited and passionate about the work I did and the life I lived until I wasn’t any longer. Now I didn’t only feel tired, stressed, undervalued, and overworked.
I felt lost.
Something had to change, I didn’t like what I saw, and I could no longer move on pretending as if I did. Pretending that this life I had crafted so beautifully for myself was fulfilling me, I was on the verge of losing myself.
Sitting in a room with people, the atmosphere tense rather than inspiring. The competition, the superficiality, people breaking down, burning out, being fired – and no one seemed to care as long as we were still making money. I felt like a fraud for moving on and ungrateful thinking about leaving this job other people would be dying to have. I remember it as if it was yesterday – the nervous feeling in my stomach and the racing thoughts in my head – what would my family think of me just quitting – with no new job in the outlook.
I thought I just needed a different scenario, but everything still felt off. Still moving further and further away from the person I used to be. Turning into a shadow version of myself. No longer being the passionate, honest, being-always-there-for-everyone-caring Shari I used to be, at least I wasn’t in my head. I got almost paranoid not fitting into this role and person I had been my whole life. I started questioning everything… My career, myself, my looks. For the first time ever experiencing this feeling of not-being-good-enough. It literally scared me how unconfident I got – jealous even, comparing myself to others and constantly aware of how I was no longer the person people thought I was, feeling like a fraud. Again. Going on, and on and on.
As I had changed jobs before and the feeling of unfulfillment kept luring around, I knew work wasn’t the only aspect I had to consider. So, I started tackling all kinds of imbalances I was facing in life, taking care of my health, getting conscious about what I ate, how much I moved, how I spoke, what I believed, the impact I had on myself, others and the planet.
I tried to simplify my life and do more of the things I truly loved. I started painting again and I made myself a priority for the very first time. I learned what holistic health really meant – disclaimer: it wasn’t only about eating kale or pushing myself into a morning routine I saw on Youtube. It was about getting crystal clear on my values, my priorities, what I wanted to feel and experience in life, and how to use my creativity to craft a lifestyle which would support that.
Guilty of being trapped in the cycle of waiting all week for Friday, waiting all month for the next vacation, waiting all years for retirement, and waiting all my years for happiness. With all my efforts, I still didn’t manage to get back to my excited and passionate self. So, there I was, once again recharging, this time in Morocco. With an almond-milk-espresso-macchiato in my hand and wind whistling through my hair, I realized that despite all my efforts, I was still caught up in a vicious cycle. By now I was a certified nutritionist, fashion buyer, and holistic health coach in training, and still. I was tired of living a life I needed vacation from and knowing all the right answers, but not being able to stick with them. I wanted to find back to myself for good, feel again full of energy, be aligned with my work, be passionate about what I earned an income with, and wake up excited for the day, every day.
So, I knew I had to go really deep, I had to crack the code.
This was where my REDESIGNING process started, where coaching really found its way into my life. Coaching helped me redesign my story and revive my passion for good. For the first time in a long while, I finally was moving forward, I was regaining my energy and keeping it up. I discovered what brought me joy and what didn’t, what felt good for me, and how my version of a healthful life and identity would look like.
An identity and life I would REALLY LOVE not one that just looked good on paper or that other people would find intriguing, but a life & identity that I really would love. – And spoiler alert – I didn’t only design my version of a healthful life & identity, I created it. The better I started feeling, the more often I remembered all those colleagues of mine that felt depressed, undervalued, sick, that suffered from anxiety and panic attacks, and that gave all for their careers until there was nothing more to give. And overall were just not fulfilled with the lives they were living. By now, I knew I wanted to help people. I wanted to remind everyone around me that their happiness was more important than any job title or anything else.
It’s so cheesy, but so true – life is just too short to be anything but fulfilled. Compromising your happiness for the sake of fitting into society’s mold.
Today I feel more connected to myself than ever, I have the energy I need to enjoy life to its fullest and to care for others on a deeper level than I would have been able to if I hadn’t taken care of myself first.
Now, sitting in my office in our beautiful apartment, enjoying every moment of it, living the life I have designed for myself, earning an income by HELPING others find fulfilment and bringing back that smile on their face.
Honestly, I couldn’t be more happy, fulfilled or grateful. I haven’t worried about over-hours, lack of motivation, diet, or sleep for a long time and till today, I hold my promise to always stay in alignment with my values in life, in work, in everything.
My code, and let me tell you what. That feels freaking amazing.
Today, everything I learned through my career in fashion, my own experiences, and coaching enabled me to create a life & identity I REALLY love. It’s my passion to help you do the same.
So, do you want to REDESIGN your story and REVIVE your passion so you can create a healthful life & identity YOU REALLY love?
Don’t wait around as I did, take the short road and book a clarity call with me today.